A funny Email I received yesterday. Love the 2020 Cup call at the end

 Cup call at end.

 Sky Racing is losing the plot. Here are just 3 thinks that irk me.

1. When there is a jackpot(carry over ) of the First Four to the next race, they kindly display in the
   bottom left corner: eg " FF Jackpot NSW $2000 "--Followed by ..." FF Jackpot NSW $3500." !!! 
   They actually mean the 2nd one to read:  " VIC" .

But no one cares enough to fix it. But-- IF the c/o is ONLY in VIC, it STILL says NSW !!  What th' ?

 I suspect this is done on purpose to con all the desperates and drunks in the pubs, to part with 

their hard earned,--thinking they are getting value.  This is FALSE ADVERTISING.

  2. The presenters appear to not have an understanding of the way real punting works.

 Yes they may be good at reading results off the screen, but some of the things they say are just plain stupid.  

Eg   " N0.7 has been a real go. On the TAB it has firmed from $19 into 15 !!  "    Well ,for the TAB --this equates to a $100 bet !!

3. The kicking over of a gallops race  (win pool $80000 ) --to SKY 2--for a trot race (win pool $1500).

So, this is how this year's Melbourne Cup COULD be.  Don't laugh. It might happen.

Sky presenter: We'll cross now to guest   caller Greg Miles --who has offered to call this year' Cup to fill 

in for Terry Bailey who was going to call his first Cup--until the viewers complained

 to management about how bloody hopeless he is.

GM. "Thanks very much and it is a thrill to be back. And timing is perfect, the last 2 runners are moving in. Any late moves SKY presenter (SP )?"

SP:  " Yes, Greg,   No.22, that's VLANDY'S THE BEST - has just firmed from $23.40 all the way in to $23.30.--and if you hurry you can still get on ."

GM:  Ah.... thanks SP. The starter is looking down the line -- and a start is imminent in the Cup of 2020. 

Here we go. And they are..

   SP:  We'll just leave there for a moment because they are about to jump in a 2-dog maiden race at Manawatu. 

The on-course tote pool has now swelled to $70 . Looks like the 5   punters trackside have really opened their wallets. 

   Dog caller. : They're racing !! And..   NRL IS GREAT bounded out and lead throughout to   beat AFL IS SHIT by 10 lengths. Back to the Cup.

   GM ...as they turn out of the straight. What a sight that must have been for you home viewers as the 

horses thundered past the winning post for the first time. Boy ,I've never heard a louder cheer from a Cup crowd. 

They are in the back straight now near the 2000m mark and we have a new Leader.   ScoMo has taken over from Turning Bull,

closely followed by..

   SP:  We'll be back to the Cup in just a minute but we have an intriguing dog race coming up at Richmond--where history is about to be made . The first ever HANDICAP dog race.  And it is a fair handicapping system, as each dog is actually handicapped --by only having 3 legs !!!.  

And they're racing .  Hopalong leads Stumpy followed by Halitosis.

 As they come to the post ,hobbling down the outside to win is none other than the well named Tripod. Back to Greg.

   GM. (under breath. Geez !! ) ..as they swing for home ,we've had more leaders here than the Federal Parliament ,but there is a testing 

      600 m to go.  The new leader is COVID'S A BASTARD closely followed by SO IS DAN ANDREWS, then back to..

SP.  Well--we wouldn't be here without our sponsors. So all the best from the TAB. Here's their famous slogan :

 "Long may we stuff  up everything we touch !"    Now back to Greg.

GM. Wow what a finish! And the number in now the frame.  The winner is no 1 - GLADYS.

 And for those in sweeps, the last horse is officially-- MUNZ.   No surprise there. 

Best Wishes from  Alphonso McGillicuddy