Over the past week in three different domestic competitions.

Tottenham Hotspur - 10.

Chelsea - 0.

McGarret out

(Official international advocate of the 9th best club team in the world.

And closing very rapidly.

Forget Clapton and Ramos.

Harry is God).

Test cricket, eh.

What a yawn.

Eightforonetwothree with hardly time to trouble the Fisher and Paykel frost free!

Bro.

That was one of the great sessions of all time right there.

Straya at onefa, 350 to the good - and coasting.

Comfy as.

But suddenly big Jack makes sure all hell breaks loose.

Has a test match ever witnessed a team lose their 3,4,5 and 6 within 12 deliveries? (That is a rhetorical question).

Has big Jack Kallis ever looked better? (That is a rhetorical question).

Has anyone ever taken a better catch - at a third of a second response time - off a ridiculously rampant but flawed Pee dot Hughes, than ABDV did at leg slip? (That is a rhetorical question).

Has Cuz Billy ever taken a better opportunity to grandstand, by annulling his own leg before decision courtesy of a secret umpires business directive from ex-President of Pakistan, Mr. Bhutto, high up in Row K in the dress circle? (That is a rhetorical question).

Embarrassed as, bro.

And has Paul Harris ever before looked remotely like Shane Warne for a few overs? (That's just a stupid question).

Reality check.

Can you imagine the South African room if Warnie was bowling here in the last dig?

You'd fair dinkum give the money back if your corporate bookie bet you $1.01 Straya from here with the Sheik of Tweak turning up on this wicket.

Unless Simone finally tightened his girth strap.

But Straya should still get the job done to level this great series at 2-2.

Unless Siddle and Hillfsindahouse bat until tea. Which is highly likely if Ricky dozes off.

Some of the best cricket I have ever seen has taken place between these two great teams this southern summer.

And especially on the first day of Autumn.

McGarret out

Hats off M dot North.

One of the truly great debut tons - against the best, at their joint.

And what about the dribbler who said this on the forum a little while back....

"Marcus North will not be the solution.

Players like Phillip Hughes will be".

Well, I stand by the second prediction - but unreservedly apologise for the first.

Go you good thing.

How good is it to have a proper batsman at six!

Now to the McDonald conundrum......

And no, I don't want fries with that.

McGarret out

Race Two Caulfield on Saturday on debut.

By Show A Heart from Overdue Reaction.

Far, far too good.

McGarret out

Finally.

Julia (I'll get the "do" right any time soon but perhaps don't hold your breath whilst I sort the elocution lessons) Gillard's announcement today that the Ruddgumment has "fast-tracked" (far too clever, Danno) an application for World Heritage listing of iconic Strayan racing surfaces is a boon for struggling punters across the nation.

Hitherto clueless advisors have finally seen the light.

The Moonee Valley plastic rail position of "four metres out the entire" and the Caulfield "rail true" layout have been frozen in urgent missives to the MVRC and MRC Boards respectively from the big house in Canbra.

Watering systems have also been disconnected - effective immediately.

Let's hope the big wigs at UNESCO get this one right folks and wheel out the big rubber stamps.

McGarret out.

See if you can guess these....


"Commuter"

Always stuck in traffic.

"Buffalo Girl"

Goes 'round the outside.

"Matty Hayden"

Can never get a run.

"Yogi Bear"

Awake half the time.

"Harriet Tubman"

Escape North.


Anyone who gets five correct gets to go to Caulfield on Sunday.

Khap reckons there will be horses running around.

Ha.

On a Sunday!

Pffff...

McGarret out

Hats off to a huge effort by a revitalised and composed Barbara Feldon to guide the Blues home amidst total Chaos in a last nut thriller tonight in front of 17,000 punters at Limmix Stadium.

Maaaarvellous.

McGarret out

Cream yourself Bruce.

Check out the bass player.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3340638

McGarret out

Good evening Coalition Of The Willing.

Tonight we can salute the youngest ever player to win an Australian Open singles match since a teenager called Todd Woodbridge beat John Letts in the entree to the Bi-Centennial.

(Which in retrospect was probably not that great a feat, given that poor old John was trying to get around the court on his old grey pony with a C7 mic in his non-racquet hand).

But I digress.....

Cue the revolving mirror ball.

Cue the strobe.

Cue the octave bass riff.

Cue Clem Burke in a slim black leather tie smashing the hi-hat.

Cue the high brow Christ Stein lyric, Christine.

And most importantly - cue Debbie, Harry.


"You - set the court alight
All right

Did it right

Set the court alight
You're all right

Tonight

Oh, your backhand was magnificent
You're all right

Tonight

And your volley was just beautiful
Savour tonight

B. Tomic

Tonight must feel magnificent
You're all right
Tonight

You must feel invincible
Oh, tonight

B. Tomic

Oh - B. Tomic
Oh - B. Tomic
Oh - B. Tomic

B. Tomic"


And he beat a guy with a name of "Starace".

Extra points for that young fella.

McGarret out

Evening all

I always somehow conspire to miss the pre-test training session at the SCG.

For obvious reasons.

But with the extra day in the schedule this year, my 11 year old son took merely a nanosecond to respond in the affirmative when I ventured to oppose the question as to whether we should trundle down to Moore Park to see the stars in action.

His hero is Michael Clarke.

And wasn't his dad a a genius when we waltzed in an hour after kickoff to find the Pupster eagerly signing a plethora of kiddies bats!

McGarret Junior got a signature - and even better - a photo with the great man.

Which is already plastered over his PC background.

I was genuinely taken with the warmth of Clarke and the respect he showed his young admirers.

Nothing was too much trouble for him.

Plenty of happy young chaps dreaming of SCG glory tonight I'd say.

And ditto Simon Katich. Full marks to this affable quiet achiever.

Hussey and Hauritz were dutiful and hung around for a statutaoty five minutes.

But the senior brigade were nowhere to be seen. Plenty of owners of $110 green shirts with 14 on the back were not happy.

And Haydos was simply happy to have a coffee and gaze over the SCG turf from the Members Pavilion, just as John Howard must have gazed over Sydney Harbour some 14 months ago.

I saw kiddies marking his card harder than middle Straya - and particularly the Sydney lower north shore Chinese community - marked Howard's.

So, a mixed bag for me, but junior was flying.

After heading back home for the lunch break the young fella suggests that we should duck back out to get ABDV's signature for his big brother.

He's on a roll.

So we do.

This is where Captain Smith should have been selling kiddies and their dads with Strayan accents right down the river.

But two hours later, mission absolutely accomplished.

The young bloke has a bat plastered with the whole Saffer team and his keeping gloves are suddenly adorned with the signatures of Mark Boucher and ABDV.

He comes home and wraps the gloves up for his brother as a late Xmas present.

Joy to the world.

Meanwhile, I was blown away by Smith and his team.

Not a sniff of ego.

But plenty of professionalism.

And the humility of Steyn, Morkel, Amla and Duminy blended nicely with the showy humour of Ntini (a surprise) and the worldly self-assuredness of Smith, Kallis, Boucher, Prince and ABDV.

But to a man, they all knew how to use a texta and hold a pose.

Good on you Captain Smith.

You've come of age.

Look after your team of champions.

McGarret out